The baby, the youngest of three Happy Hobbit Children, is 2 years and nearly 2 months old.
He walks, he talks, he jokes, he drives me mental and fills our home with laughter.
And Hobbit Husband wants another. Soon.
Easy for him to say.
How many children is too many? Am I ever going to feel like an autonomous human being again?
The fourth and final installment to our family has been planned since before number Three was born. My husband has OCD-esque issues with uniformity and feels that uneven numbers would be utterly unacceptable. The idea of four children terrifies me a little. Actually, the idea of three children terrifies me A LOT, and yet somehow we muddle through. So far anyway.
There is nothing special or spectacular about me or my motley crew of Happy Hobbits. We’re a functionally dysfunctional family attempting to do what we can with what we have to keep our family unit in tact if not thriving, and also hopefully treading a little lighter on the earth and sowing seeds of human kindness when the opportunities arise. I know it sounds cheesy… but I am. Cheesy. Incurably so.
So anyway. Back to the kid debate:
I’ve talked at length with friends, colleagues, other parents and complete strangers about the prospect of a fourth child. Many are keen to point out that three children is a large family and four is basically unheard of in 2012. Most people who know us well enough to be frank and honest are also quick to point out that our desire for four children means we maintain our status as crazy/eccentric/loopy (the adjectives vary, but the sentiment remains the same.) and they’d never consider such a large family. Where would one even fit all those children?
I have trawled the Internet for advice on the subject, and apparently large families are somewhat of a status symbol among the super-rich and high-flyers.
Well, I don’t know what the cut-off for super-rich is, and I’ve never been a fan of status symbols or felt the need to partake in the keeping up with the Jones’s mentality. My, neigh our motivation for wanting children is far more transparent and self serving. My husband and I are both needy and perhaps more than a touch egocentric. Our children have provided us with direction and meaning beyond anything either of us could have ever anticipated. Seeing the kids grow and become amazing human beings gives us a genuine sense of immortality, and our family unit is a vast and carried network of people who share in the joys and trials of raising our kids. There is no joy or heartache like that which comes from having children, and we’re just trying to figure out if we’re done.
Time will tell. Continue reading