I’m not currently, nor have I ever been, in the running for the mother of the year award.

Yeah, this isn’t me.

One of my biggest strengths, however, is that I have always been rather acutely aware of my failings. The person I am makes me a unique parent. Fun, engaging, stimulating, and excellent at a calling the kids out when they’re out of line. However, I am also inconsistent, moody, unconventional, loud, and selfish.

I’ve been smacked rather squarely in the face with my failings as a parent lately.

We are working 90 hour weeks, trying in our own ways to make a better future for our children and everybody else.

We don’t do it because we are noble or arrogant enough to think that it is our job to save the planet. We do it because we Love the work that we are doing and we Love the messages we are sharing and our work MAKES SENSE to us.  We want it to make sense to everyone else to clean up our transport and energy here in NZ and strengthen our independence and local economy.  Don’t get me started, I could go on and on!

Trying to find a balance between this big baby, and our REAL babies…

So… Where was I?  Ah yes, parenting:

Four things happened in close succession this morning that broke my heart a wee bit.

• Adam, after crawling in with us as he often does around 4:00am, stirred a little. He opened his sleepy, nearly five year old eyes and said: “Oh man, I tell you what mom, I just really want to watch Kindergarten Cop right now.” He said it with such earnest I had a little laugh cry and gave him a huge hug. His needs are generally fairly simple. A bit of Love and encouragement keeps his tank pretty full most of the time.

• Steph was running around screaming at me to help her find her red shirt for cross country. I didn’t help. I generally don’t. I calmly look my darling in the eye and say: “You’ve got to look after your things.” And let her freak out until she finds whatever she is looking for. It is a combination of me being lazy, and genuinely wanting them to be independent.

• The shirt fiasco gave way to a conversation with Steph about NOT breaking her freaking ankle like she did at athletics. Which gave way to her reminding us that we are pretty slack at coming to watch things and weren’t there when she hurt herself last year. Which meant we were reminded about being “The busiest parents in the WHOLE world” And Adam chimed in to suggest that we stop buying electric cars.  He suggested that we can spend more time NOT driving everyone around and working all the time, and then Daddy could come on the birthday holiday and see volcanoes with us, instead of having to stay home and write code. (FYI, I Love that our children know that daddy writes code, budding geeks every one of them)

• The culmination of the aforementioned chain of events triggered a promise:

“I promise that we are going to start making songs, stories, and cuddles at bedtime an absolute priority guys.”

The whole family. THIS is our motivation to do all the things, ironically, this is also the people who miss out on being with us while we do those things.

Steph is old enough to remember stories and songs every single night, while Adam has missed out a bit.

I am not going to start baking gluten free cupcakes for the kids’ entire class. I am not going to magic up the ability to be the kind of parent who does not embarrass my kids on the rare occasion that I make a public appearance. I am not going to get less sweary or sarcastic in my style of discipline or the way I speak to my children.

I am, however, going to make them an absolute priority, because they ARE an absolute priority. And they won’t be little forever, so it is time I mommed the eff up and made at least an hour a day to ensure them that they are the most important thing in the whole world to me and their father.

Kia Ora everyone.  Thank you for Reading and have a great rest of the week.

XXOO