I Love You

October 9, 2015October 9, 2015 / Dee / Leave a comment

I can’t. Like I actually can’t EVEN. I mean I can’t BEGIN to express just how consumed with Love I am for you.

Our first wedding…

I Love you when you roll over and give me a morning breath kiss on some random Wednesday, before we jump in the shower to prepare for battle in the trenches of social and technological justice and change…

Sleeping in… Hubby kindly took a snap to share with you 🙂 Gosh I Love bed…

I Love you when you yell at me to stop making plans for you that you don’t want to do. Like interviews and key-note speeches, and photo shoots. I Love you when you sheepishly admit I was right to throw you head first out of your comfort zone and into the spotlight because you know, and I know, that we cannot be successful in a vacuum.

A rare moment of together time not fighting captured on camera

I Love you when you play with our children. When you answer the constant and unrelenting barrage of curly questions with accuracy and humour.

My hottie hubby… I got pretty lucky. Might need to reign in the cray cray.

I Love you when we are road tripping in the USA and you make light of social and moral inconsistencies and conspicuous consumerism as it bombards our senses.

I Love you when you scream at us for peace and beg for silence, knowing that peace and silence are not what you signed up for when you married me and met each of our four fabulous miracles on the day of their births.

Big smiles from James on my Birthday morning (he is six days old)

I Love you when you cry at proposal videos on YouTube.

I Love you when you tell me you have a crush on someone because I know that you will crush on most beautiful, intelligent women, and you will always, ALWAYS stay faithful to me above every other person on earth.

I Love you when you make me coffee.

I Love you when you say thank you.

I Love you when you pick up hitch-hikers and call me on speaker phone to introduce me to them.

I Love you when you stop and talk to anyone and everyone about EV and clean energy. I Love when you let me invite complete strangers to stay at our home and we become firm friends with them.

I Love you when you think of some crazy generous idea to help a stranger or a friend.

I love that you so often hold up a mirror and let people’s greatness shine back at them. You show by example every single day that we are all infinitely powerful and able to do great things if we embrace big ideas and steel our fears and doubts in order to do little things that make a big difference.

I Love you when you share articles about woo or grammar or social justice on my wall.

I Love you when you decide we are going to spend all our time and money for the next several years rolling out the largest fast charging network in the Southern Hemisphere. I Love you when you tell me you couldn’t do it without me. I Love you when you do an interview and forget to have both hands on the steering wheel during filming, despite the fact I asked you a thousand times to hold the wheel at 10 and 2 or I can’t use the footage.

I Love you when you take my head in both your hands and kiss me deeply and passionately while standing in line waiting to pay for lunch at the mall on any insignificant weekday.

I Love you when you tell the children that their mother is beautiful.

I Love you when you wait for me to start talking to you after a week of silence because you have done or said something despicable to me, thinking it was funny.

I could go on for an eternity on all the things you do every day that remind me that the point where either of us begin or end is indistinguishable.

We often talk about what life would be like if we hadn’t found each other. You complete me, as I do you, and you drive me wild and make me want to scream. And I know that you are often given cause to lament marrying the LOUDEST woman in New Zealand.

Saying Thank You for all that you do, and all that you are, and all that you have given to me and so many people seems hollow and frivolous.

But I am going to say it anyway. THANK YOU. Thank you. Thank. You.

You stand on the precipice of a great chapter. You hear from strangers and friends that you are doing amazing things, and yet you know always, that you could do nothing without the support and help of hundreds, perhaps thousands of individuals. You are gracious to those who believe in what you are doing and support you tooth and nail as you slash and hack your way through red tape, risk aversion, fear and ignorance. You can also be a bit of an arrogant prick when you’re faced with some annoying roadblock or officious person holding you back. I particularly love the cool, calculating way in which you own their ass when forced to go head to head with this kind of ignorance. Seriously, that makes me weak in the knees every time.

With all that you do, and all that you have done, you remain humble and tenaciously focused on the end goal of a better future for everyone. You believe everyone deserves better, and you give of yourself day in and day out to deliver solutions and change that will benefit people you might never even meet.

You are the Love of my life. You are my very best friend, and you embrace and encourage all of our many healthy and wonderful . You put me in my place, you pick me up off the floor, and you always ALWAYS tell me the truth.

And I Love you for all of this and so much more.

Happy Birthday.

Tuesday Truthiness After Taking Stock of Tasks

July 7, 2015July 7, 2015 / Dee / 1 Comment

Someone suggested I sit down at the end of the day and take stock of what I managed to accomplish that day. I did this, half-heartedly, as I do any administrative task. I’ve shared it here, I strongly suggest you fully just skim/skip over it and rejoin me after the bullet list. So yesterday, some of the stuff I did was:

Wake up at 5:00 to baby
Flat tyre on the way to first meeting, dropped the car off but still made it to the meeting in time as mom rescued me and dropped me off
Reminded/told at least 30 people that I respect/admire/Love/appreciate them (or a combination of all or more of these things) in absolute earnest. About a third of that happened on social media or over the phone, another third at a morning networking meeting I attend, and the final third were my family or they work with me or I ran into them during the course of my day or evening
Bumped into or came across a small number of people who actively dislike me and did my best to play nicely
Got the tyres changed on the Tesla
Moved money around to pay for the Tyres. I proper hate banking
Took two of the tyre guys on a test drive shared on Instagram, FB and twitter (FB had best engagement as usual)
Finally bought a MacBook air as it is easier for me to carry around for blogging/writing on the go. Have been meaning to for months, so our Office Manager can inherit my MacBook pro, as she does a lot of design work for us and needs the tools and functionality far more than I do
Wrote, posted and got final editing advice on a blog about two of the people I reminded/told that I admired – need to do final edits and share that link from the betternz.org page over social today. Joe wrote most of the content, I just did some editing/massaging
Talked to my husband about ten times
Talked to my mom about five times
Cried at a prelimary life-coaching meeting (not because it was suggested that I write a list, but because I cry a lot just recently)
Had a very nice young man and his beautiful partner pop in to the house to collect one of our electric cars to demonstrate to a gaggle of New Zealand CEO’s. We will pick it back up from him in Newmarket on Friday morning before the gym and after I collect Grumpy from the airport
Had some chats with friends who work in the office next to me. One of them is mending a broken heart and asking some hard questions about life. Hope she’s alright
Thanked a friend for arranging a cover story in a reputable business magazine that will feature Charge Net
Got briefed on flowers/candles and staging for a photoshoot at the apartment that we are renting out through air bnb
Briefly caught up with the nanny/housekeeper (who is obviously also a friend, because that is how we roll) about plans for the rest of the week and how everyone enjoyed the movie (Inside Out)
Got a task list from Priscilla (completed two of the things, have more to do today)
Arranged to visit a friend and advocate of the EV and sustainable movement and bring them up to the off-grid treehouse for a break from the sad circumstances that brought them to the Auckland region. Very good people and I am blessed to have crossed paths with them.
Touched base with the people staying at the Treehouse this weekend, and encouraged them to arrange some extra wood for heating and to feel free to kill possums if they have the means and the inclination, because the possums are a huge problem and obviously affecting the bird life up there.
Culled about 30 inactive twitter “followers”
Checked in on all the social campaigns (mostly facebook stuff) I am keeping an eye on
Organised a playdate for Steph tomorrow
Read several articles
Laughed dozens of times (I know it was at least dozens of times, as every time I laugh it hurts rather a lot as I broke my rib on a waterslide on Sunday)
Posted a video that I put together several weeks ago for our sustainability work
Edited some copy
Answered some emails
Spent a bit of time on the phone to Oliver, Pam, Aaron and the nice man named JP at Carters Tyre Centre
Left some messages on some phones about some things
Plugged in the Tesla to charge, locked up the office, made it home before 4:00pm
Made a roast chicken with Israeli cous cous and veggies (nobody but James and I enjoyed the cous cous but I assure you it was AMAZE!)
Disciplined Adam and sent him to his room for melting down. He missed out on black and white pudding that is his favourite. He’s been having so many challenges. We adore him and we’re tackling issues head-on with extensive testing, help from many people, and an amazing support network
Yelled at the children to get off of electronics (estimate about half a dozen times between three of them)
Ate dinner with mom, dad and mother in law and the children (we normally just get take-out and throw food on the table and hope some lands in the children, so last night was really nice)
Played some crib and lost
Drank A LOT of tea
Watched a lot of cartoons
Spent a good two hours scouring newsfeeds and liking/commenting on stuff…

There were more bits and pieces. Several things fell through the cracks, as several things do every single day. I have omitted these things, as dwelling on them won’t get them done any faster. I have no idea how that day would measure up compared to any other people’s day. Cooking for and eating with my family was a rare treat. I was home before it was dark, and managed to throw some food together and that was probably the highlight of the entire day. Truth is, I remain absolutely in a stone-cold funk despite my best efforts to shake it. I’ve been lucky enough to hurt myself so that every time I pivot, laugh, pick anything up, bend down, or breath to deeply it is painful. That pain often makes me laugh as I automatically think about how the injury occurred (flying inelegantly through the air and crashing down in a chubby 37 year old heap in a dark waterslide). On a few occasions yesterday, it hurt rather a lot. There were some lessons and truths that stuck out a country mile when I reflect on yesterday’s somewhat standard and beautifully banal day.

I really, truly Love and appreciate a lot of people
Haters gonna hate
In my home with family is a wonderful, safe, warm… and very loud and chaotic… place
I have no control over other people’s thoughts and actions, but my thoughts and actions can be very impactful (build up or tear down)
There’s never quite enough hours in the day
Every day there’s some level of progress or a win to be celebrated regarding the sustainability passion projects we are currently championing, and, although it never seems to be fast enough, I am grateful for forward momentum
I could (perhaps should) reign in my crazy a bit and piss less people off, but that genuinely seems inauthentic to me, so I am making a councious effort to continue to let it all hang out (within reason, trust me when I tell you I do hold it together more than some could ever imagine, but still openly share my struggles and brace myself daily for the fall out of this)
I totally want to spend more time with my family and get back to cooking meals and baking with the kids and things…

So that’s it. Not ground breaking stuff by any stretch of the imagination, but that was a slightly-less-hectic-than-usual typical Tuesday. No major epiphanies. And even though I have been bitten on the bottom again by a severe case of the sads, I am full of gratitude. Right now it is just after 4:00am so I’d be grateful for a little bit more sleep. Thanks for reading (or probably more accurately skimming) today’s lengthy meanderings.

The Best Bits

May 18, 2015May 18, 2015 / Dee / 1 Comment

It is 3:38 am.

The baby woke me up and I can’t get back to sleep and I am just thinking about the bits that I like.

What do I mean?

Well, you know how there’s a bit in a bunch of songs that you like, and that’s your favourite bit? Or a bit in heaps of different movies that you like, or a bit about your kids, or a bit about food, or that bit about whatever activity that you can possibly think of that really makes you feel warm and happy and makes your brain think, ah, I really like that bit!

That is what I mean.

So, I am going to time myself and type freestyle till 4:00am about just some of the bits that I like:

That bit in Cat Stevens: “Can’t Keep It In” When he says: Now don’t you run don’t you hide… The whole song is one of my favourite bits from the very first note till the last one, I adore that song so much, but that particular bit is so great.
The smell of earl grey tea and the warmth of the cup in my hands as I sip it and feel relaxed and uplifted at the same time… I do like me some tea. Yes sir-ee.
That bit in the Titanic movie when she realizes that wealth and “privilege” is kinda like its own prison, when she looks over and sees the young girl learning table etiquette. I’ve always liked that bit.
That bit when I walk in the door and my baby sees me, smiles and gives me massive cuddles.
That bit when I go away and someone watches the house for us while we are gone, and we get back, and it is pristinely clean and feels so good to be home.
That bit where we get to New York and head to the park to sit under our favourite willow tree by the turtle pond and give our baby their first ice block.
Any bit that involves newborn cuddles.
That bit when someone I thought didn’t like me says something absolutely complimentary. That’s a great feeling.
That bit when someone who I don’t have a great deal of faith in (so someone I don’t like very much) says or does something really awesome and cool and I can’t help but hold them in higher esteem for it. Pleasant surprises are so great when it comes to dealing with people.
That bit where I leave Steve in the hotel to watch the baby and I stand in line ALL NIGHT to hold his place in the line for the keynote at WWDC and meet at least five fabulous friends who are glorious geeks and we stay in touch FOREVER!
The key change in Woman in Chains, and watching how much all my children enjoy singing and dancing to Tears For Fears songs.
That bit where my eldest son delivers a wry/dry and hilariously insightful take on something that leaves me splitting my side laughing and beaming with pride at his comedic timing and ability to deliver some seriously excellent material as a total straight man. He’s been doing that as long as I can remember, basically since he could talk he has been a master of sardonic wit.
When my daughter snuggles in and hangs out with me and says “Guess what?… I Love you.” Heaps of times for no reason.
When she wins an award or certificate because, although she wins heaps of stuff like that, every single time she is SUPER excited and gracious and beaming with pride.
When my 4 year old just about loses his temper and brings it back and controls it and makes awesome decisions to be good and not lash out or lose it. And then he gets praised for displaying fabulous self control and he beams as bright as the sun about it and gives me huge four year old cuddles.
That bit when someone you respect says something nice about you behind your back and it gets back to you.
That bit when someone who was mean, or dishonest or bullied you turns their life around in some meaningful way and becomes a better human being, and maybe even contacts you to say: Hey, I know I was a jerk, and I am pretty sorry about that” and you can be super proud of how far they have come and you get to feel extra good about letting go of the pain they handed you, because in that moment you TRULY understand that hurt people hurt people, and it is always nice to see someone’s hurt healed up a bit or a bunch.
That bit where my husband pulls me into his arms and kisses me passionately in public and the kids are like: You guys are SO gross, everyone can see you!
That bit where I wake up in the middle of the night, and can’t get back to sleep, so I listen to my baby and my husband making sleeping sounds (tonight it was a symphony of snoring and James giggling in his sleep)
That bit where I look up at the clock and only have a few more seconds until I have to stop writing…

And those are just a small handful of some of the best bits… There are so many more best bits every single day. And it was really nice to stop and just write some of them down.

The Sudden Death of David Goldberg

May 3, 2015May 3, 2015 / Dee / Leave a comment

It is well after midnight.

Our one-year-old son is in bed between my husband and I as he is both teething and has the sniffles. He’s waking every 20-30 minutes. It will be a long night.

We discuss the annoying necessity of being politic and diplomatic, which is not really a strong point for either of us. Genuine, enthusiastic, passionate, knowledgeable or engaged we can both pull off effortlessly.

Suffering fools and/or “playing the game” does not, however, come naturally to either of us.

He is crafting messages, responses and presentations. Some of these are for people and entities we admire and trust, and some that make us sigh and roll our eyes, but engage we must, and engage we will.

We discuss the week ahead. It is as full as any we have grown accustomed to lately. That means we will be working from the crack of dawn till hours after the sun retires for the evening.

I ask him for the hundredth time if he has sent off the raw footage for editing or to the partners that hosted us on a recent PR trip up and down the country. He asks me if I have finished my personal bio or written the copy for one of the several websites. The answer to both of these questions (nagging) is no, but the list of things we HAVE accomplished is as vast as an ocean stretching endlessly out around us both.

This is all completely normal stuff for married couples that work together, or even in the same industry as far as we are concerned.

We each act; as sounding board, champions, devil’s advocate, support, hindrance, help, annoyance. Yet, we are a team.

I get to live every day in the knowledge that I have a partner who cares about the same things that I do. He supports me in good times and in bad. He helps to make sure our kids, household and lives keep chugging along.

He is also working vehemently and tirelessly on projects that we both feel, will make the world a better place. This makes me weak in the knees and so proud of him that I worry my heart might beat right out of my chest some days.

Sometimes we drive each other crazy with frustration or poor communication. Sometimes we get to the point we can’t even stand the sight of each other.

Most of the time, however, I can’t imagine a life where we aren’t attacking the same problems, or working towards the same goals, albeit from completely different angles.

We were married in 2004. Just like they were. We met in geek circles as did they. We have eerily similar original last names, as do they.

We have four exceptional and unique children with exceptional and unique needs (all children are exceptional and unique and need exceptionally unique things as far as I am aware, just as an aside). The Sandberg/Goldberg team were sensible enough to have two children who they both nurture and support in equal measure if reports are to be believed. We are blessed with a diverse and amazing group of friends who all have integrity, make us laugh, keep us honest, and do not tolerate douchebaggery. The outpouring of Love and respect I have read lead me to believe they choose to work and play with similarly good and engaging people.

Life makes sense when we are together. I am no longer completely sure where one of us begins and the other one finishes, as we both occupy so much of the each other. Two halves of a whole, but not so much with distinguishable borders, like a coin or the well-known yin and yan symbol. At this point in our lives, I’d say we are more like an alloy. Melded quite inextricably together with heat and pressure.

Enough metaphor.

The reason I am writing this blog is that I am undeniably shaken and heartbroken by the news of the kind, clever, gloriously geeky Dave Goldberg’s passing.

Sheryl Sandberg is firmly in my top twenty, of smart girls to look up to.

These two are, or I guess more accurately now, were, the ultimate Silicon Valley power couple.

Humble, kind, successful, powerful, respected… and torn from each other when he was only 47 years old.

I am not suggesting Grumpy and I are a power couple, or in any other way anywhere near the league of team Goldberg/Sandberg. What I am saying, is that I have always found their relationship inspirational and relatable. Days without my husband are unbearable. We have seen each other nearly every day for well over a decade now, and that works for us. I cannot begin to imagine life without this.

We are partners. We are equals. We are astoundingly different human beings with obviously different personalities and strengths.

The idea of losing the biggest part of me is unfathomable.

The clock ticks well past 1:00am. Phteven is still working. Our four year old has joined us in our bed because he’s had a bad dream. The ten year old was not far behind him.

While I finish off this blog to be handed over for my husband to edit, he gets up to administer a dose of antihistamine to our oldest son so we might all get some much needed sleep.

Tomorrow I will be exhausted and probably pretty grumpy as is often the case these days.

But I will be thankful. I will be thankful for the moments as they occur and as they pass, and I will be thankful for every day I get to be a part of team West.

Rest well David Goldberg.

Bittersweet Birthday in Brisbane. Baby James is One Today

April 21, 2015April 21, 2015 / Dee / 1 Comment

After an appalling pregnancy and a crippling case of pre-natal depression that sent my heart and mind to places I never could have imagined, a miracle bursting with joy, laughter and Love arrived in our world very early on a crisp April morning over Easter weekend in 2014.

We are a year on now, and we’re all more in Love with him than ever, but he’s growing up pretty fast, and is absolutely the last Hobbit child to come up the ranks. Makes me a little sad. Also looking forward to some independence again!

I can’t begin to tell you how well this child fits into our family and among our friends.

He is bursting with life and Love and smiles ALL the time.

Just thinking about him and listening to him splashing around in the bathtub with his big brother Adam as I attempt to get this blog out for you brings happy little tears to my Hobbity eyes.

I guess, he must have been sucking the joy out of me and building up his reserves while he was growing in my tummy, as he is absolutely one of the most joyful people I have ever met. And I don’t begrudge him it, as now that he is on the other side of the womb, I have felt nothing but Love for the little man.

So here is a quick journey through pictures of our first year with James David Leondard West.

Smiling three and a half months before he was even born.

Lynelle (we went to high school together) at my very last hospital visit before James arrived.

Meeting another gorgeous gestating girl at the Skid Row/Ugly Kid Joe concert.

Gearing up for a quick and drugfree birth. So they weren’t just braxton hicks, they were actual contractions and an actual baby came a few hours later….

Whew. Hi there James!

Meeting one of the people I adore most in the world. My Daddy Bruce

Adam feeding his very own baby 🙂

Big Brother Daniel

Auntie Leigh and Steph and James

Adam and Steph having a snuggle early one morning

Auntie Sarah

Big smiles from James on my Birthday morning (he is six days old)

In California with Aunty Cat and Mommom.

Granny’s shoulders at the big kids’ parent teacher interviews

Hanging in Pauanui with the only girl cousin Amara and Bapo (Pappa Strat)

The whole family

Aunty Cathy

Aunty Cathy and Uncle Bob at Granny and Poppa’s house.

Wellington and running in to Delightful Danni!

Up to no good with Hayley!

Visits with Kyrin

Looking pretty cute in an outfit Katie got for him

Happy as a bug in a rug in Matakana

Barcelona tiredeness

Helping dad read the menu in Roma

Sneaking in some sleep in Italy

Barcelona Tapas

Norway. Airport.

First steps at four months? No… just a camera trick 🙂

Taking a wee nap under our favourite willow tree in Central Park

Auntie Lara

Uncle Derek

Meeting the cousins from Calgary

You! You are AWESOME!

Auntie Emma and Kiwi cuz Quinn

more smiling

All of us

Black and white, quiet moment

Phteven’s idea of parenting.

Yoda

Meeting one of his two god mums… The other Godmum has heaps of beautiful pictures with James but doesn’t like me sharing them online. Sigh.

So I have hundreds and hundreds of pictures of James, but this is just a small collection I wanted to share with you. We’ve had a great first year getting to know this guy, and we thank all our friends and family who have tuned in and watched him grow up in the chaos that is our family!

XXOO

Dee

The Importance of Failure

February 26, 2015January 18, 2017 / Dee / Leave a comment

HoooOOoookay. Today I want to talk to you about failure.

I’m intimately acquainted with the act and the concept of failure. Seeing as I set myself a rather high bar in most things (except housework… obviously ‘rollseyes’) in life, I am quite familiar with the sting of falling short on expectations.

Truth is, I have felt like a failure most of my life.

Perhaps this feeling has a bit to do with the fact I had identified the concept of white middle class privilege (which is a concept that makes me deeply sad and annoyed as an adult) more or less as a pre-pubescent. When I was about 7 years old I boldly announced to my Granny: “We are actually upper middle class because we have a big house and can afford to travel.”

The weight of this realization meant that in my mind, I had all the ingredients to fast-track myself to a life of fame and fortune. I would even practice my Grammy acceptance speeches in the mirror, talking into a brush in my large pink room adorned with a cute little canopy bed and matching comforter.

Barf.

So the whole time I was formulating a plan for total global domination through talent, kindness and superior intelligence, the main motivation was to give something back. I wanted to adopt all the lonely babies, feed all the hungry people, hug all the sad and lost souls. As an adult I want people to be judged on their characters, skills, and merit, not their gender, or appearance. And I’d like everyone to work together to clean up the mighty big mess we in the “developed” world have made on the planet.

Where was I going with this?

OH yeah.

Failure.

Needless to say, as a grown up I have not accomplished many of lofty goals I had set myself as a child.

My multi-platinum selling album of show-tune covers has yet to be released. The Dianna Goertz (that was my maiden name) home for sad puppies, lonely kittens and people who need hugs has yet to be built.

I’ve also had some pretty amazing wins though, and that’s due, in no small part, to my impressive catalogue of hard knocks and failures, and the resilience to keep going.

Now I have children. Four of them.

I adore them, and they are all very different. They blow my mind with their talents and how much better they are at things than I ever was.

I am also impressed with their ability to shake off failure and keep going. Well, a lot of the time. Sometimes they are defeatist little whiners, but that’s to be expected.

So I’ll tell you a quick story about Daniel as I am already over half-way through the word count l like to observe in these blogs.

Camp is next week. Three whole days in a cabin with his cohorts up at Shakespeare regional park. He is pretty excited. We got a letter saying he needs to stay back and get some extra tuition in swimming. Was he mad? Nope. Was he sad? Nope. Is he looking forward to the opportunity to improve his technique? Absolutely. He did not see this as a personal attack, he did not see this as a failure on his part. The kid LOVES to swim. We think he is pretty good at it. Not as good as he is at science or creative writing or video games or rock climbing, but he’s very confident in the water. He also recognizes that he is not even close to being the most popular kid at school. He’s been through bouts of bullying, he’s had no one to play with on the odd occasion. And you know what he says when he has a truly terrible day socially? “That’s okay mum, I don’t want to peak to early. You guys were nerds and look how you turned out.”

Could. Not. Be. Prouder.

So, today, as I try and squeeze out a blog to share after weeks of writers block and a back-catalogue of copy that has been sitting unwritten, I am reminded that a little bit of fail is part of the formula to a full and happy life.

This does not mean I am entitled to sit back and do nothing.

How do you deal with failure? Do you focus on it? Do you use it to gain insight? Do you beat yourself up? Do you make excuses? Do you lay blame? Do you deny it? Do you embrace it and try again?

I don’t have much in this life that I am truly proud of, but the fact I am helping to raise well adjusted little people with empathy, manners and self-esteem is fuel to keep going through these 80-90 hour work weeks recently.

So, if you’ve had a fail lately, be it big or little, keep going. Don’t lay blame or beat yourself up. Learn. Go get some extra training or tuition like Daniel has done with swimming. If there’s something you want to brush up on, don’t be ashamed to ask for help. If it is a project or report that is giving you grief, it is not unheard of to rip it up and start again.

Good luck with whatever you are currently up to, and thanks from the bottom of my heart for bearing with me through my creative drought lately. This too shall pass. XXOO

#SMHS (S*** My Husband Says)

November 3, 2014November 3, 2014 / Dee / 2 Comments

Just wanted to walk you through yet another clanger from the mouth of my less than smooth operator husband.

Soon we will be sharing office/warehousing space so that Grumpy can continue his distinguished career as a mad genius inventor type while I attempt to keep my boutique PR firm growing.

I’ll get the office space while he will be in the warehouse and storage area tinkering with his gloriously geeky EV and engineering mates.

I’m very excited!

My two business partners and I have more or less decided that we’d like to go for a 50’s chic motif in order to align with our ethos of recycling and up cycling and classic and timeless values. Plus, rummaging through sally army stores and antique furniture places will be a heap of fun and a bonding experience I hope.

So, earlier today, I invited Grumpy to join me for lunch next to a kitchen installation guy I needed to see about the new office kitchen. The place is called Armadillo cafe in Rothesay bay and it is amazing! And the decor is spot on what I want to do at our offices. I HIGHLY recommend this great little cafe, the food was nice and the decor was lovely! It is called Armadillo Cafe and it is in Rothesay Bay and it gets an 8/10 from this Hobbit.

Grumpy of course hated it…

Anyway, I cheekily said to him:

“Well, you don’t have to like it, you just have to pay for it.”

To which he responded:

“Yeah, just like sex.”

And then looked at me, grinning and obviously pleased with his signature wit. He waited for me to laugh.

I did not laugh.

Grumpy looking at me waiting for me to laugh at his superior wit

What does that even mean? He still, even after my posting this is moderately proud of his wit, which does make me more than a little bit confused. Do I demand money and favours in return for coitus? And is the resulting act regularly dull and unsatisfying? Or is he referring to a secret stash of call girls and mistresses that he manages to entertain in the non-existent hours we spend apart? Whatever he meant, I found it nauseating, not charming. Sigh.

So, on the bright side, he had to change a rather massive explody diaper. As I passed him the baby he said: “I think it is your turn to change the baby!” to which I responded: “I think after that little gem of jerk face nonsense it is now YOUR turn to change the baby and you’d be lucky to ever get laid again as long as you live.”

He will continue to pepper our days with painfully inappropriate and tasteless clangers, and I will continue to roll my eyes and sigh.

If you, like me had to endure a hubby with no filter who says s*** like this, I feel for you. Lucky underneath all that he’s got a heart of gold, and I hope yours does too.

If, like my dear friend who popped in for a coffee on her way home from work tonight, you have a husband who is sweet and would never consider saying things so daft and painful, go and hug that man of yours for being a sweetheart.

Over and out for today.

Big Boobs Blog

October 28, 2014October 28, 2014 / Dee / 10 Comments

In the first trimester of my fourth pregnancy, something happened.

My boobs ballooned to ludicrously large and have not returned to any semblance of normalcy.

My gorgeous girl and I in Sydney when I was 24 weeks pregnant.

The absolute largest nursing bra I have been able to get my hands on in regular retail outlets is a 14HH and I spill out of that even.

This may help give a sense of scale, as I am 7 months pregnant in this pic, and I do believe each of the ta-ta twins are about the same size as my belly. Sigh.

I’m sick of them. I’m sick of feeling like a I’d be more comfortable in a circus freak-show than at the supermarket, as even trips out of the house result in gawks and whispers, particularly if I am not carrying the baby as an explanation to my watermelon sized appendages.

This is the picture that started it all… Grumpy took a snap of James looking particularly cute, and I realised that one of my breasts was about the same size as my 7KG son. Sigh again.

Visits to friends and family who have not seen me in a few months ALWAYS result in comments of concern, surprise or astonishment. Some of my favourites include:

“Oh my word, they are even bigger in person.”

“HahahahahhahahHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHHHHHAHHAHAHAAAA!!!!”

“I know you keep saying you’re fat, but surely carrying a couple of things that are clearly bigger than a human head in front of you can’t be helping.”

“That’s just not right.”

There’s an extensive list of comments and quips regarding my sweater huskies (I can’t say sweater puppies as a euphemism here, as puppies can be tiny) and most of the time, I find it genuinely amusing and am glad people make light of them.

There is some light at the end of the tunnel as our sweet baby James has opted to start solids, which means my days of cluster feeds and distended, engorged, gargantuan ta-tas are numbered!

So this experience often makes me ponder the puzzle of people’s pleasure pillows.

Women the world-over, spend time comparing and contemplating their own and other women’s breasts.

Breast augmentation is far and away one of the most popular cosmetic surgeries the world over.

Meanwhile, there are women like myself that are genuinely tired and in my case, even a little embarrassed by the size of their bosoms.

So, as is often the case with my meanderings, I am not entirely sure what I am trying to communicate with you today.

What I will say, is this: As women, particularly child bearing women, our bodies are in a constant state of flux. I think we should all work a bit harder to accept ourselves and our bodies. Creating, growing, and continuing to nurture a tiny human with our body is nothing short of miraculous. It comes with a whole range of strange and surprising side affects and changes to our bodies and our minds. I just think we all ought to celebrate the many different shapes and sizes of women around the world pre and post partum, because we are all beautiful, and it is the differences that make us interesting and unique.

If you are a woman reading this, know that you are gorgeous. Whether you have or have not embarked on the breeding, embrace your boobs and your bum and all the bits, because they make up you, and I can assure you that you are truly beautiful. But the most beautiful thing about you is the kindnesses and quirks that cannot be seen with the naked eye. The thoughts and experiences that make you the amazing miracle you are is alluring to those who you have chosen to be close to you as you journey through the days and this life. So say it with me ladies:

“I am beautiful, I am strong, I am amazing and I am getting better and better through all my trials and triumphs!”

And, if you are a man, take the time to genuinely compliment (tactfully, and not lasciviously please) some of the women in your life today. A kind and candid compliment can change the trajectory of our day, and we need to hear more supportive stuff from you guys.

That is all.

Breastfeeding Around The Globe

October 1, 2014October 2, 2014 / Dee / 5 Comments

Okay. So in the long standing tradition of over-sharing, I have now spent 9 weeks taking selfies and random pics of feeding fourth and final child in various locations around the globe. From Auckland to Andalucia I have demand fed this almost insatiable little Hobbit.

I will spare you further pontificating about my parenting style or my experiences feeding and share some pictures so you can come to your own conclusions about how you feel about feeding in public. I cover up for my own modesty, and in all our travels I was only confronted once, strangely on a BC ferry. Everyone else was pretty good. I even fed him on the subway sitting right next to strangers, who were not fussed at all and quite relieved that I fed him and he was quiet after a good grizzle.

So, thanks in advance for scrolling through this 8-9 week cross section of our Hobbity adventures. I personally find it much easier to feed him on the go, and was thankful to get settled on the cruise ship so I could express and leave him at the creche for a couple of hours and enjoy a guilt free glass of wine!

Also just want to take a second to admit to the fact that I found feeding an absolute nightmare the first time around. I also found it tough to start out with with subsequent kids. I was mere moments away from giving up because it was so painful and difficult. But I pushed through (barely) and am glad that I did.

I’ll let these pictures tell the story for the rest of the blog.

Coming up for air after a good feed. He went to sleep so I could eat my dinner and that is the ideal outcome!

This is what a hungry baby looks like… not happy

Breastfeeding at WestCity Mall in Henderson selfie

WestCity Selfie V. 2 🙂

Stanley Park in Vancouver. People were very nice and there were a couple of women in their 50’s that congratulated me for feeding in public as it “just wasn’t the done thing” when they were raising their kids… hmmmm.

Super cheesy 1970’s family planning shot with rays of light and staring adoringly down at my infant… gag.

Fed and happy baby at a scrumptious coffee shop near Pike Place markets in Seattle

Pre lunch drinks for James in downtown Seattle

Breastfeeding Selfie… somwhere… Mukilteo maybe? Somewhere in Washington state anyway.

On the ferry from Washington to Victoria

A&W … fine dining establishment

Victoria Inner Harbour

West Edmonton Mall

Times Square

Times Square mid sentence probably nagging Grumpy about something…

“I Love Boobies” clad baby post feed enjoying an afternoon nap with his dad in Central Park.

Lovely lady sat next to me on the train from Newark to Penn Station.

Snuggles in Central Park

Feeding in a cab after a MASSIVE day in NYC.

Boston Seafood restaurant with Crystal

Harvey’s makes your hamburger a beautiful thing… and gave me a chance to feed the baby on the way to Montreal from Ottawa.

Rhode Island

Boston with my beautiful friend Michelle who is not in the picture as she is taking it 🙂

Subway NYC. Crowded.

Just getting baby latched on… nobody seemed to give a hoot which is great.

Norway!

Little Italy in San Diego. Delicious Argentinean restaurant. Bad selfie… ah well. I was tired and missing my Grumpy.

Cafe across from the leaning tower of Pisa

Train in Italy

Hamming it up for the camera in Pisa

Rome Bus tour top deck. Dozens of tourists from several countries and nobody seemed phased or offended.

Looking thoughtful, but kinda old on the bus in Rome.

The museum

And another…

Children, chores and failed chocolate chip banana cake.

July 10, 2014July 10, 2014 / Dee / 1 Comment

Today is the birthday of one of my most FAVOURITE humans in the whole word. We’ve been friends for nearly two decades now. I am currently fighting with a banana cake attempting to make it look like a heart…

Not winning. We’ll be popping in to surprise her at her work later today. We’ll deliver a cake (probably not this one though) and some cuddles. I am pretty confident writing about it, as she’s probably not going to read the blog during the day.

My beautiful friend delivering a speech as a bridesmaid at our Valentines day renewal.

Steph LOVES her Auntie P.

Not a stitch of make-up and absolutely one of the most gorgeous creatures on earth. Here she’s helping get things organised. She’s good like that 🙂

My darling daughter absolutely adores her Auntie P (birthday girl) and insisted she help make the cakes. She helped, and she made a magnificent mess in the process.

The children are always keen to help cook and bake, and anything they see as fun. But when it comes time to clean up, they make themselves suspiciously scarce.

They have been asking me for a chores list so they know what to do and when for months and months. I wrote one for Stephanie that she referred to and observed her duties with impressive discipline.

Both the older kids are obsessed with the concept of pocket money. A couple of budding capitalists? I doubt it, but I have no problem with putting in place a reward system. Here’s what ours looks like, feel free to steal it and tweak it for your own purposes if you’re a parent.

We also have a fines list, similar to the pocket money chores list only it is negative amounts. You get the idea. I won’t publish that as the things the kids get fined for at this point could be embarrassing to them one day, and I am mindful of the Internet making it tough for you to forget after you’ve put something in the public forum.

So I’ll edit and post this short little sneak peak into Hobbit life for the week, jump in the shower, and head into town to surprise our perfect princess P.

I think I am just going to buy a cake…

Have a great day wherever you are and whatever you are up to!