Tuesday Truthiness After Taking Stock of Tasks

Someone suggested I sit down at the end of the day and take stock of what I managed to accomplish that day. cheklist I did this, half-heartedly, as I do any administrative task. I’ve shared it here, I strongly suggest you fully just skim/skip over it and rejoin me after the bullet list. So yesterday, some of the stuff I did was:

  • Wake up at 5:00 to baby
  • Flat tyre on the way to first meeting, dropped the car off but still made it to the meeting in time as mom rescued me and dropped me off
  • Reminded/told at least 30 people that I respect/admire/Love/appreciate them (or a combination of all or more of these things) in absolute earnest. About a third of that happened on social media or over the phone, another third at a morning networking meeting I attend, and the final third were my family or they work with me or I ran into them during the course of my day or evening
  • Bumped into or came across a small number of people who actively dislike me and did my best to play nicely
  • Got the tyres changed on the Tesla
  • Moved money around to pay for the Tyres. I proper hate banking
  • Took two of the tyre guys on a test drive shared on Instagram, FB and twitter (FB had best engagement as usual)
  • Finally bought a MacBook air as it is easier for me to carry around for blogging/writing on the go. Have been meaning to for months, so our Office Manager can inherit my MacBook pro, as she does a lot of design work for us and needs the tools and functionality far more than I do
  • Wrote, posted and got final editing advice on a blog about two of the people I reminded/told that I admired – need to do final edits and share that link from the betternz.org page over social today. Joe wrote most of the content, I just did some editing/massaging
  • Talked to my husband about ten times
  • Talked to my mom about five times
  • Cried at a prelimary life-coaching meeting (not because it was suggested that I write a list, but because I cry a lot just recently)
  • Had a very nice young man and his beautiful partner pop in to the house to collect one of our electric cars to demonstrate to a gaggle of New Zealand CEO’s. We will pick it back up from him in Newmarket on Friday morning before the gym and after I collect Grumpy from the airport
  • Had some chats with friends who work in the office next to me. One of them is mending a broken heart and asking some hard questions about life. Hope she’s alright
  • Thanked a friend for arranging a cover story in a reputable business magazine that will feature Charge Net
  • Got briefed on flowers/candles and staging for a photoshoot at the apartment that we are renting out through air bnb
  • Briefly caught up with the nanny/housekeeper (who is obviously also a friend, because that is how we roll) about plans for the rest of the week and how everyone enjoyed the movie (Inside Out)
  • Got a task list from Priscilla (completed two of the things, have more to do today)
  • Arranged to visit a friend and advocate of the EV and sustainable movement and bring them up to the off-grid treehouse for a break from the sad circumstances that brought them to the Auckland region. Very good people and I am blessed to have crossed paths with them.
  • Touched base with the people staying at the Treehouse this weekend, and encouraged them to arrange some extra wood for heating and to feel free to kill possums if they have the means and the inclination, because the possums are a huge problem and obviously affecting the bird life up there.
  • Culled about 30 inactive twitter “followers”
  • Checked in on all the social campaigns (mostly facebook stuff) I am keeping an eye on
  • Organised a playdate for Steph tomorrow
  • Read several articles
  • Laughed dozens of times (I know it was at least dozens of times, as every time I laugh it hurts rather a lot as I broke my rib on a waterslide on Sunday)
  • Posted a video that I put together several weeks ago for our sustainability work
  • Edited some copy
  • Answered some emails
  • Spent a bit of time on the phone to Oliver, Pam, Aaron and the nice man named JP at Carters Tyre Centre
  • Left some messages on some phones about some things
  • Plugged in the Tesla to charge, locked up the office, made it home before 4:00pm
  • Made a roast chicken with Israeli cous cous and veggies (nobody but James and I enjoyed the cous cous but I assure you it was AMAZE!)
  • Disciplined Adam and sent him to his room for melting down. He missed out on black and white pudding that is his favourite. He’s been having so many challenges. We adore him and we’re tackling issues head-on with extensive testing, help from many people, and an amazing support network
  • Yelled at the children to get off of electronics (estimate about half a dozen times between three of them)
  • Ate dinner with mom, dad and mother in law and the children (we normally just get take-out and throw food on the table and hope some lands in the children, so last night was really nice)
  • Played some crib and lost
  • Drank A LOT of tea
  • Watched a lot of cartoons
  • Spent a good two hours scouring newsfeeds and liking/commenting on stuff…

There were more bits and pieces. Several things fell through the cracks, as several things do every single day. I have omitted these things, as dwelling on them won’t get them done any faster. I have no idea how that day would measure up compared to any other people’s day. Cooking for and eating with my family was a rare treat. I was home before it was dark, and managed to throw some food together and that was probably the highlight of the entire day. Truth is, I remain absolutely in a stone-cold funk despite my best efforts to shake it. I’ve been lucky enough to hurt myself so that every time I pivot, laugh, pick anything up, bend down, or breath to deeply it is painful. That pain often makes me laugh as I automatically think about how the injury occurred (flying inelegantly through the air and crashing down in a chubby 37 year old heap in a dark waterslide). On a few occasions yesterday, it hurt rather a lot. There were some lessons and truths that stuck out a country mile when I reflect on yesterday’s somewhat standard and beautifully banal day.

  • I really, truly Love and appreciate a lot of people
  • Haters gonna hate
  • In my home with family is a wonderful, safe, warm… and very loud and chaotic… place
  • I have no control over other people’s thoughts and actions, but my thoughts and actions can be very impactful (build up or tear down)
  • There’s never quite enough hours in the day
  • Every day there’s some level of progress or a win to be celebrated regarding the sustainability passion projects we are currently championing, and, although it never seems to be fast enough, I am grateful for forward momentum
  • I could (perhaps should) reign in my crazy a bit and piss less people off, but that genuinely seems inauthentic to me, so I am making a councious effort to continue to let it all hang out (within reason, trust me when I tell you I do hold it together more than some could ever imagine, but still openly share my struggles and brace myself daily for the fall out of this)
  • I totally want to spend more time with my family and get back to cooking meals and baking with the kids and things…

So that’s it. Not ground breaking stuff by any stretch of the imagination, but that was a slightly-less-hectic-than-usual typical Tuesday.  No major epiphanies.  And even though I have been bitten on the bottom again by a severe case of the sads, I am full of gratitude. Right now it is just after 4:00am so I’d be grateful for a little bit more sleep. Thanks for reading (or probably more accurately skimming) today’s lengthy meanderings.

#SMHS (S*** My Husband Says)

Just wanted to walk you through yet another clanger from the mouth of my less than smooth operator husband.

Soon we will be sharing office/warehousing space so that Grumpy can continue his distinguished career as a mad genius inventor type while I attempt to keep my boutique PR firm growing.

I’ll get the office space while he will be in the warehouse and storage area tinkering with his gloriously geeky EV and engineering mates.

I’m very excited!

My two business partners and I have more or less decided that we’d like to go for a 50’s chic motif in order to align with our ethos of recycling and up cycling and classic and timeless values.  Plus, rummaging through sally army stores and antique furniture places will be a heap of fun and a bonding experience I hope.

So, earlier today, I invited Grumpy to join me for lunch next to a kitchen installation guy I needed to see about the new office kitchen. The place is called Armadillo cafe in Rothesay bay and it is amazing! And the decor is spot on what I want to do at our offices.  I HIGHLY recommend this great little cafe, the food was nice and the decor was lovely!  It is called Armadillo Cafe and it is in Rothesay Bay and it gets an 8/10 from this Hobbit.

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Grumpy of course hated it…

Anyway, I cheekily said to him:

“Well, you don’t have to like it, you just have to pay for it.”

To which he responded:

“Yeah, just like sex.”

And then looked at me, grinning and obviously pleased with his signature wit. He waited for me to laugh.

I did not laugh.

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Grumpy looking at me waiting for me to laugh at his superior wit

What does that even mean?  He still, even after my posting this is moderately proud of his wit, which does make me more than a little bit confused.  Do I demand money and favours in return for coitus?  And is the resulting act regularly dull and unsatisfying? Or is he referring to a secret stash of call girls and mistresses that he manages to entertain in the non-existent hours we spend apart?  Whatever he meant, I found it nauseating, not charming.  Sigh.

So, on the bright side, he had to change a rather massive explody diaper.  As I passed him the baby he said: “I think it is your turn to change the baby!” to which I responded: “I think after that little gem of jerk face nonsense it is now YOUR turn to change the baby and you’d be lucky to ever get laid again as long as you live.”

He will continue to pepper our days with painfully inappropriate and tasteless clangers, and I will continue to roll my eyes and sigh.

If you, like me had to endure a hubby with no filter who says s*** like this, I feel for you. Lucky underneath all that he’s got a heart of gold, and I hope yours does too.

If, like my dear friend who popped in for a coffee on her way home from work tonight, you have a husband who is sweet and would never consider saying things so daft and painful, go and hug that man of yours for being a sweetheart.

Over and out for today.

Careful what you wish for

I’m bossy.  You can sugar coat that and say I’m assertive.  Sheryl Sandberg would have us “Ban Bossy” but as many of you know, I am a die hard fan of the simple, unfettered, stone cold and occasionally uncomfortable truth.  And the truth is, I often think I know what is best for everyone and too often force my agendas and opinions on the people I care about the most.  I am pushy, occasionally self serving, and very bossy.  If people don’t ascribe to my ideas, schedules or plans, I can turn into a right royal P.I.T.A, and I’ve been known to pack a sad of epic proportions when things don’t pan out the way I desire.

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I’ve been encouraging (nagging) my long-suffering husband Grumpy to get back into the office for quite some time now.  Why?  He is amazing and has so much useful code rattling around in that brain of his. And he often complains about suffering from a recurring case of a big gaping empty, and when he’s busy and engaged, the empty is kept at bay.

So after four years of nagging, he’s back.  He is making huge and positive breakthroughs in his code, and I sincerely hope with his team as well.

The kicker in all of this being, I have been quite miserable and unsupportive, as he started back with regular (and full) days when our son was two weeks old.  So after several years of begging and pleading with him to march that brain of his back to his desk, he picked this point in our lives to comply with my ardent demand to do so.  Just days after I’d had our fourth child.  Awesome.  Fan-freaking-tastic even.

*Very loud and insistent interjection from Grumpy:

“YOU (expletive) MADE ME!  How can you keep complaining when the only reason I am back is because you INSISTED. (Many colourful expletives)”

I keep complaining anyway.

Where was I?

Oh yes.

When he’s not working there, he’s in the garage or his home office putting the finishing touches on a project involving a component for Electric Vehicles that he has invented and is now testing successfully.

I am genuinely proud of him and all that he’s doing.  Although we’ve had a heaped helping of stresses and trials, both in and out of our control, I haven’t seen him this happy in quite a while.  And all this contentedness is despite the fact neither of us has had more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a row since welcoming James into the family.

Still, I find the timing of all of this stuff quite exasperating.  And boy oh boy do I make Grumpy suffer in the wake of that exasperation.  Guess I should rein (I am always tempted to spell that reign…) that in for fear of scaring him off.  Nah, I’m a hot mess, and he knew that when he married me, so he’ll just have to handle the occasional spattering of venom while I struggle to maintain some semblance of sanity.

Meanwhile, back on planet Dee, I am bound and determined to change the face of reputation management and Public Relations by successfully unleashing a socially, environmentally and generally conscientious Social Media/PR firm that offers sound and empowering advice and support to people and organisations.

With the help of my business partner, a very dear friend (and kind of business partner) and a spectacular network of like-minded individuals, I aim to change the communications landscape of NZ and eventually the world, by sticking to a simple plan:

Encourage people to be honest and authentic – because the truth will set you free and take you exactly where you need to be.  I want people to start, engage in, and nurture conversations for good.

So, with a five-week-old baby asleep in his hammock next to me, I am furthering this epic vision and moving forward.  Thanks to the ongoing efforts and friendship of my patient and passionate partner Pauline, the momentum is fantastic, and we’re well on our way after a series of hard earned professional wins.

With all of these things coming to fruition, I ought to be seriously satisfied?

Well, I’m genuinely grateful.

I am also, undeniably exhausted and in a fairly constant state of feeling frazzled and fantastically overwhelmed.  For the most part, that’s okay, provided it feels like we’re moving forward and making a notable difference or inroads into our lofty goals of a cleaner, greener, kinder, fairer and more interesting world.

While there is magnanimous momentum in many corners of our lives, something always has to give.  It has been a rare occasion indeed that I am able to get into the kitchen and create, which has always been one of my absolute joys.  The older kids are feeling edgy and we’re having trouble staying abreast of the many spectacular dramas of childhood and pre-pubescence.

Today, for example, our eldest son had a pencil flung at him by a classmate, which left a nasty gouge on the surface of his iris and now he requires drops.  I must confess, the only reason we made it to an optometrist to get it looked at was because I brought the children to the mall in lieu of having to cook for the family because it has been such a busy day.  He’d hardly complained about it, but when I asked him how it was it became painful again, so off to the optometrist we went, “just to be on the safe side”.  You know how it goes.  It did make me stop and wonder how much regarding our bourgeoning brood we are oblivious to because of our commitments and schedules.

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And don’t even get me started on our social life.  We’ve missed so many parties and catch-ups and seen less and less of all of our favourite people.

I’m not complaining though.  Probably sounds like that, a step up from a white whine to a fully-fledged champagne complain, and that’s not what I am trying to get across at all.  I think I just want to share with you the benefit of my experience.  We all ought to be careful what we wish for.  Because we just might get it.  And when dreams start coming true and stuff you thought you wanted finally starts happening, well, that is when the real work begins.

So here we stand only a few unsteady steps into the journey to the top of the next mountain we’ve decided to climb.  And let me tell you, we’re already absolutely knackered.  Happy, but so very tired.

Writing this blog made me stop and think.  Most of us are guilty of the when syndrome.  “I’ll be happy when…”  or “I can stop worrying about this and that when…”  or “I’ll do that thing I’ve always wanted to do when…”  And you know what, I think we’d all be better off and considerably happier if we made an effort to be happy now. To do things now.  To try things, even though we could very well fail, now.  So that’s what I’ll be working on this week.  Changing my own when syndrome into a now superpower.